This Feeling
by AuroraAustralice
Summary: Set after the ending of the manga, Natsume and Mikan cannot be apart. Not anymore. One-shot. No smut


_This feeling…. The feeling of having loved someone was so familiar and yet so distant. Had I loved someone? In those years that my memory failed to remember… had I loved someone? Had someone loved me? Would they still remember me now? _

"_I would have searched the ends of the earth, heaven, hell anywhere… just to find you." _

"_You said you wouldn't forget me, even if they took your memories that you wouldn't forget me." _

_Now I know why this feeling of having loved someone is so familiar… I have loved him, everything from his crimson eyes to his surly temper… I have loved him. _

Mikan Sakura couldn't wait to open her eyes; she hoped it had not been a dream. Please, she prayed, please lord don't let these past two days have been a dream.

_Hotaru _

She thought about her best friend, the search for the missing Imai siblings would begin today; she, Ruka and Natsume would set out in search of the dark haired girl and her older brother. Mikan's last memory of Hotaru was of her hugging her older brother and whispering how she would never forget Mikan even if Mikan forgot her.

_I will find you, Hotaru… if it's the last thing I do! You know how tenacious I am! _

Her thoughts were drifting and as always they came back to the same place… Natsume. He hadn't talked to her since she returned to the Academy yesterday, in fact he hadn't talked to her since his outburst in the middle of the road in her small hometown in Kyoto.

It was still early morning, the sun hadn't risen yet and so Mikan made her decision. Silently she crept out of her bed and left her room. She needed to talk to him, to touch him… to just be with him. Long years of separation… Mikan didn't think she could have survived without him if they hadn't taken her memories.

His room was just opposite her's and softly she knocked on the door, leaning her head against it, "Natsume, it's me… I just…" before she could finish her sentence the door was opened.

How handsome he had grown up to be… she sighed, his dark hair was messy and he wore just a pair of pajama bottoms. He was so much taller than her now, his smooth muscled chest gleaming in the faint light of the early morning.

"What is it polka?" he drawled, looking down at her. Mikan just stood silently, admiring his beautiful face when their eyes met and caught in an infinite moment, suspended in time. Crimson against chocolate.

She didn't speak, she didn't have to. With one tentative, trembling hand she reached out and touched his chest. "You're real." She breathed.

Natsume gave a strangled laugh, "Oh I'm real." He said, a tad bitter, "I just can't believe you are."

Mikan continued to stare at him until he could bear it no longer and pulled her to him just like he had two days ago, his tall body bending over her's, his arms clutching her tightly, his warm sweet breath brushing over her curly hair. "My god I missed you." he said brokenly, Mikan's own arm were around him, holding him to her like she would lose him any second.

"Oh Natsume." She sobbed into his chest, "I'm so sorry, I love you… I love you so much."

"No, you don't have to apologize for anything."

She shook her head, keeping it hidden in his chest.

"Mikan." He said firmly, "Mikan, look at me."

She raised her tearful eyes to his, "I never… NEVER thought you would leave me willingly… do you understand? Never. You were, are and always will be my lifeline. Everything good I am, everything good I have ever done was because of you, for you. Don't ever apologize for this to me, I love you." he whispered into her ear, "Always."

Not letting go of her, Natsume drew them into his room and shut the door behind him.

"I couldn't have done it." she said softly, "If they hadn't taken my memories I couldn't have made it without you. It sounds so stupid and desperate doesn't it? But something was always missing, even when I didn't know, I knew."

"Do you know how many times Ruka had to stop me from coming after you, sweetheart? Day and night it was torment knowing that you had no idea who I was. It was torment knowing that maybe I might never see you again, that maybe you could live out the rest of your life so blissfully ignorant, get married to someone, have children and never know." He said, holding her so close like he couldn't bear to let go of her.

Touching him was like a dream come true thought Mikan, "How hard it must have been on you, my poor Natsume." She whispered.

"It was hell." He agreed solemnly, "The worst kind of hell, especially when I was sent to guard you. I would watch you for hours and ache to talk to you… it would have been so simple, to just bump into you somewhere and make friends with you but I couldn't."

"I want you to kiss me, not like when we were younger and hiding in the Orange Blossom tree. I want you to kiss me properly." She whispered.

He held her close, lifting her into his arms to erase some of the distance caused by their height difference and pressed his lips softly against hers, Mikan shut her eyes… it was so unbearably sweet to be held in his arms, it was rapture. His mouth pressing into her own, his lips molding, his tongue dipping into the sweet crevice of her lips. When they finally pulled apart her eyes were glazed with longing.

"I won't be away from you Mikan!" he burst out suddenly, "I… I can't… not after I just found you. I can't do it; wherever you go I come too."

She pressed her face into his chest. "I can't either..." she whispered.

And together they stood in the warm sunlight holding each other.


End file.
